Real Estate

Somehow my memory just isn’t what it used to be.  Not that I’m roving around forgetting where I am or how I got here.  Oh wait. That is exactly what I’m doing.

Let me explain. 
I’ve been in school for the past 20 years.
The past three of those I spent in Miami.
Then the previous four were spent in Warrensburg, Missouri.
Thus, you could deduct that I haven’t been “home” in seven years.  Specifically not home for fall (or spring but its fall now so that's what we’re going with here).
This is especially pertinent when talking about living in Miami because fall doesn’t exist.
We’ve been having some very weird weather here in the suburbs of St. Louis, which isn’t saying much because we’re known for our oddly unseasonable temperatures and ungodly heat and freeze waves.  These past few days it has felt more like fall in the last week of August than it usually does in the first week of October.  And it hit me.  I don’t belong here.  Not that I don’t belong, but that it doesn’t feel right at all.  I suddenly felt like the only thing that would feel ‘right’ would be starting back school in Warrensburg (my undergrad town) and it was as if the past three years didn’t even happen.
The more I think about how odd this feels, the weather, not being in school, not moving back somewhere, the more I feel disconnected from everywhere.
Sometimes I like to visit sothebysrealty.com and peruse the houses I then dream of having when I’m rich and famous.  I’ll never move back permanently to Miami, but it did become a part of who I am and with the people I know and love that live there, it would be nice to just ‘have a place’ to visit (when I’m rich and famous) so in my Sotheby's search Miami is what I plugged in. 
When I started looking I recognized the individual city names and could tell what the views were of. But the more I looked, the more foreign it seemed.  The more disconnected I felt from it.  It was like when you say a word over and over and over again so much that it looses all meaning and you can’t use it for a while because its lost all recognition your brain was willing to give it.
I was sitting here trying to remember street names and zip codes and how the highways connected and how to get to each of the many niches that call Miami home and I found myself trying to remember something I didn’t feel I really knew.  Then I tried remembering the same things about St. Louis and those weren’t coming to me either.
When I was in high school and younger I could read something once, a novel for instance, and could tell you what color sweater a character was wearing and exactly what she had for lunch in the middle of the book, even when only mentioned to develop the scene. 
Now I’m having trouble remembering the feeling of living somewhere.  Its not gone, it just seems so far away---like it happened in another lifetime and I’m just here to tell the stories I can remember the details of but not the feeling of living them.

Not so sure what this means.  Maybe my brain is tired and so severely inundated with information that its too waterlogged at the moment to retrieve much of anything.

I need to clear some real estate up there.